Landlording Excerpt

"Of all the people in the world, who's more detested than the landlord? After all, he puffs big cigars, sneers, wears a black cape, drives an ostentatious Cadillac car, dallies with divorcees, runs down little kids, raises rent whenever he pleases, drives unfortunates from their homes, ignores all tenant complaints, keeps at least one family of roaches in every unit, loves the fresh air which broken windows provide, and welcomes rodents of all kinds to make their home in his rentals.

"And if that landlord happens to be a landlady - well, then, everybody knows what she's like! She's got a nose longer than Pinocchio's, larger than Durante's, and she puts it into every tenant's business. Her ears rival Dumbo's, and they are ever on the alert to pick up the latest gossip. She's got Big Brother's omniscience, and she blabs every bit of it. She's devised ways to pinch her pennies that Jack Benny never dreamed of, and while there may not be snakes growing in her hair, big pink rollers sure do."